Ashes to Ashes
by leigh.m22
Summary: Clary and Jace embark on their mission through the Unseelie court. With the fate of the shadow world balanced on the edge of a knife, Clary faces the task of weighing her duty to the Clave against her own life, which is quickly spiralling out of control. She is torn with a secret, an unexpected discovery, and a tragedy in Idris. Clary and Jace post Lord of Shadows.
1. Chapter 1

_Ashes to Ashes_

Hey Everyone!

Okay so… I don't like waiting for books to come out, so here is basically a continuation from Lord of Shadows, only following Clary and Jace.

It will be mainly focused on them, but will have snippets of other couples and what not, because it's not a story without the rest of the family.

I've really tried to focus on relationships, and the reality of living in the shadow world, over semantics and stuff.

If some things don't match directly with the world of the lovely Cassandra Clare, just ignore! My story can't be a carbon copy of anyone else's world, because them it wouldn't be my own.

Okay well, I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1

Ash fell softly on the cracked earth- saturated colours of red and grey were scattered over the desolate landscape. Clary was walking over the rough earth, feet catching on rocks- no wait… it was _body_ parts she was walking over. Hands and feet, severed heads, all gray with decomposition and decay.

Dead bodies littered the ground everywhere, and Clary's body felt like it was underwater, the resistance of the air felt sticky, the smell of sulphur and decay invading her senses. She moved quicker, tiptoeing over the corpses, moving towards _something._

She didn't know what exactly she was looking for, only that she desperately needed to get there, needed to find _it_. The desperation sunk deep into her stomach, making everything more frantic, time seemed to quicken.

More ash fell from the sky. Screams pelted through the distance. Clary broke into a run, stumbling over body parts, feeling the squelch of blood under her shoes until- a pavilion rose in the distance. The dream shifted, blurred, and suddenly she was standing right in front of it.

It was a small columned building, made from obsidian looking material glinting in the red light. Clary walked up the steps, her panic gone, replaced now with _knowing._

Somehow, she knew what she was going to find. Splayed in the centre, draped in shadows by the pavilions roof, lay Clary's dead body, her hair looking dull in comparison to the scarlet coloured blood surrounded her. She knelt down, reaching for her body, reaching for _something_ -

Clary's heart was beating furiously when she woke.

Clary and Jace lay side by side, their sleeping bags laid out on soft, mossy grass. A chill crept into the night air, and Clary could feel the dew seeping through the fabric from under her, dampening her clothes. She swore this mission was like a hike through the amazon; faerie had a tropical climate at this time of year, whatever time that was in Faerie.

Jace was fast asleep next to her, the breeze gently moving a strand of golden hair across his forehead. Clary reached over to push it away, careful not to wake him up. She didn't need him worrying more about how little she was sleeping lately- Clary had brushed it off as nerves, discomfort and homesickness.

In truth, visions plagued her dreams nearly every time she closed her eyes, but she didn't want Jace to worry.

The multi-coloured stars above her head didn't look like crystals anymore.

After over two weeks of trekking through enchanted forests, eating only the food they have brought with them, and staring past the eerie music of revels in the distance, the only thing Clary wanted to do was go home.

Yawning widely, she pulled her sleeping mat a little bit closer to Jace's, seeking his warmth in the cold night. Clary missed her bed more than anything right now. Folding herself against Jace's body, she shut her eyes, feeling the weight of fear at facing her dreams settle on her chest, not likely to go away until morning.

When she woke up, Jace was looking grimly down at her, his face dirty, hair un-brushed. She blinked the grogginess away, the memory of the vision fading with her heartbeat.

"Good morning sunshine" Jace said cheerfully, standing up and stretching out like a cat. Clary grumbled a reply- Jace's unending enthusiasm was beginning to give her a headache.

"I want to wash up. I think there's a stream just ahead", Jace looked into the distance when he said this, shading his eyes from the bright morning sun.

Clary brushed through her hair with one hand, tying it messily up into a pony tail. "That sounds like a good idea" she scrunched her nose "You're starting to smell".

"That is true" Jace grinned "And you moved your face right under my armpit last night. I thought you might like the smell" he winked, and turned away from her, fumbling with something in his pack. Clary rolled her eyes, trying to look nonchalant-he had noticed she woke up again.

"You didn't sleep well, did you" Jace's back was still turned, but she could tell his voice was serious. Clary stood, reaching for her thermos next to her bag.

"It's nothing Jace. I just had a nightmare and woke up for a few minutes", she replied, taking a long gulp of water.

"It was more than just a few minutes, Clary" Jace said, shoving some stuff into his pack, and turning to facing her.

 _Damn it, he was awake that whole time_ Clary thought.

She sighed and took his hand, realising that brushing this off would take a little more effort.

"Jace" she said, "You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay, I've lived through more than a little lost sleep". He looked agitated still.

"Seriously Jace" she dropped his hand, a small smile on her face, trying to look as optimistic as she could. "We've been through too much for you to worry about every little thing".

"Fine" he said, hoisting his pack across his shoulder, "But next time you have a nightmare, wake me up? Just so I can try and help". His response was so perfect, Clary felt it like a punch to the gut. All this lying, concealing and masking her visions was beginning to weigh heavily on her. She smiled softly, "Thank you".

They left the clearing with nothing but the imprints of their things on the plush grass, the wind blowing gently, urging them to their destination.

Walking through Faerie was like walking through one of Jace's nightmares. Following the dark war, everything in his sleep had become more vivid; colours and sounds in his dreams were so bright they felt blinding, whether it be Clary's screams, or just the light of the fountain in the middle of Idris.

Now, the heavily saturated colours of Faerie reminded him of the weeks following the war, when he and Clary had found each other each night, seeking comfort in the small hours of the morning.

They trekked through what seemed to be grasslands- flat, covered in bright green grasses of all sorts, yet somehow still humid and suffocating. Little wildflowers dotted the landscape, rolling over the hills like a brightly coloured blanket.

"The Clave better be raining praise on me when I get back; look at what this climate is doing to my hair" he joked, casting a sly look to Clary who walked beside him. She scowled, almost unconsciously reaching up to fix her own wildly curling hair- the red tendrils did probably look much unrulier than Jace's own hair did.

"You know as well as I do that I look a hell of a lot worse than you night now" she replied stonily, and Jace gawked mockingly, pretending to be outraged.

"And you know that the Clave is going to shower you with praise no matter what we come back with" she continued. He did grin at this.

"My sweet lady love, you speak nothing but the truth". Clary only huffed, and Jace tried to hide the inkling of worry that ran through him. After nearly four years of being together post-war, they had been through so much more together. Countless raids, demon hunting, mounds of paperwork, everything that the youngest people to ever run an institute would have to deal with, and Clary had faced it all with a smile on her face.

So what was making her so… agitated?

He had shrugged it off in the beginning, telling himself she was just irritable that day, not in the mood for their usual loving banter, or just thinking of other things, but now he could see that something was weighing heavily on her heart. She just wasn't as energetic, happy or determined as she usually was. It wasn't very noticeable; but Jace noticed everything about Clary- he always had.

Jace twisted the Herondale ring around his finger, feeling the cool ridges under his thumb.

"Ok, I think I can see the general entrance" Jace whispered in Clary's ear. They had walked for several days to find the entrance to the Unseelie Court- it wasn't something you could just stumble upon.

Countless wards and spells surrounded it, enough that the magic pressed down on them, heavy and tangible in the summer air.

They were hiding behind a crumbling stone wall that looked like something out of a story book. Jace was strategically peeking over, watching the path in which members of the Unseelie court walked along going inside and coming from the palace.

Clary nodded and reached for her pack, rustling through it looking for her rune book- it had become a journal of sorts, filled with sketches of rune, some half-finished or missing a line so their power wouldn't burn through the paper. She pulled it out, feeling tremors of adrenaline shoot through her hands at the danger that awaited them.

The travelling was done- it was finally time for action. Although, if everything went according to plan, there wouldn't be any fighting- this was a stealth mission, and Clary had prepared runes accordingly.

"Are you ready?" Jace asked quietly, reaching for his stele, ready to give or receive whatever Clary needed. She flipped through the pages, searching less with eyes and more with feeling for the rune she knew was hidden somewhere in her jumbled thoughts. Stopping abruptly, she scanned the page, remembering drawing the rune they needed now.

It was one of disguise- she would call it _conceal,_ she thought, for it wouldn't just conceal their shadowhunter looks, but hide their very nature, every drop of angel blood and differentness that would allow them to enter the Unseelie court in the most obvious way- right through the front door.

Jace smiled when he saw her stop, knowing she had found what she was looking for. He seemed way too excited about this, Clary thought ruefully.

She shut her eyes, tracing the patter with her fingers, a practiced way of knowing how she would replicate the rune on hers and Jace's skin. She opened her eyes to find Jace topless, and looked at him wryly.

"You could have waited for me to draw the rune first before changing" she said, grabbing the bag of clothes at Jace's feet while he smirked and undid his belt.

"Dramatic effect" he said, pulling on a vest in a strangely textured material- the faerie clothes they would wear were made from an ethereal looking material- probably very expensive- but they needed to blend in with the members of the high Unseelie court.

Clary pulled out her own outfit- a flowing dress that seemed to be crafted from pearly pink flower petals, its tresses silky and sheer. She balked- the material looked almost _see through._

"Um, Jace?", he looked up from dressing to see her face.  
"What's wrong?"

"I can't wear this! It's see through!" Clary whisper-shouted. Jace grinned upon noticing the see-thoroughness of the material. He then composed himself and bit his lip- "There really isn't time to find anything else" he said, not sounding very apologetic. Clary scowled and turned around to change, sick of his teenage looking excitement, muttering under her breath.

In the end, the gown did look lovely.

It complemented Clary's pale skin, making it look like she was glowing, and the folds were arranged in such a way that nothing too scandalous was on show, yet the outline of her stomach and legs were certainly visible. She reached down for her stele, not looking directly at Jace, definitely not in the mood for saucy looks, and began tracing the rune on her forearm.

This part was practiced- no communication between them was needed.

Clary always went first with new rune- something Jace commonly protested- but it was just routine now. She felt the power wash over her, and a subtle imbalance went through her- nothing too obvious except the feeling of slight disruption. Clary fingered her ear, feeling it now end in a point, and pulled her fingers away sharply, started by the strange change in her body. She turned to Jace, who was brushing non-existent dirt off his new fancy clothes, and held out her hand. He gave her his forearm, bare in heat of the land, and carefully traced the rune. Jace didn't react at all.

"Did you feel it work?" she asked, more of a statement than a question, confident in the practice of her power, and proved right when his ears lengthened and his face became more symmetrical and long.

"Yea" was all he said. He looked deadly serious now. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" Clary replied, and Jace nodded.

"I-" Jace cut off, gripping her hand tighter. "I can tell something is wrong Clary" he got out, although it was slightly strangled. A breeze swept through his golden hair. "And I just want to make sure you're ready to do this mission. Because after this we get to go home, okay? I won't ask what's going on, I just want to make sure you aren't going to do anything… stupid."

Clary looked at their joined hands, and after a slight pause, reached up and pulled her boyfriend in tight, wrapping her arms around him. He returned by holding her tighter, almost desperately, something she hadn't felt him do in a long time.

"Don't worry about me" she said, pulling back and hiding her stele under her dress. She knew this would offer no consolation- Jace would always worry about her, no matter what.

But there was nothing else to say.

They stashed their unwanted things behind the wall, not needing anything but a few hidden weapons and steles, and waited for the path beyond to be clear.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone- here is chapter 2!

Chapter 2

Acting was never something Clary excelled at- Jace would always joke about how every emotion Clary felt was broadcasted on her face for everyone to see.

Keeping the fear off her face was the least she could do right now. She glanced to her left, where Jace walked beside her and thought he looked every part the noble blooded faerie he was playing. He had an almost haughty look about him, as if each stone he walked on, each breath of air that rushed by him, belonged to him. It wasn't an expression she liked to see one his face- it reminded her of Valentine.

The entrance to the palace was grand, in an almost grotesque way.

The main frame of the door was crafted form what seemed to be bronze- shining stone that warped and twisted around the entrance way. Rubies, emerald and other precious gems sparkled against the exterior, it's grandeur reminding Clary of something she had read in a book about ancient Greek mythology. _The entrance to the underworld_ , she remembered.

The courtyard they walked into was bustling with Fae, some dressed in such outrageous shows of wealth that they had to be noble, others more moderately attired, wrapped in vines and leaves and articles of nature.

In the heart of the court, Clary could see the resemblance to the Seelie court in its appearance, but it was almost like a sense of malice was hiding behind each corner. The thought made her shiver, and Jace noticed and looked over at her with concern.

She kept her eyes trained forwards, walking with purpose straight into the centre.

The easy part was over- now they had to find the places restricted to the public. Jace brushed his pinkie finger over hers, not allowing himself to take her hand. He tapped his left temple, indicating that he had seen something useful and Clary scanned the left side of the court yard, trying to appear casual.

So far, they had not drawn any unwanted attention, and Clary didn't plan for that to change. She saw what Jace had been indicating at- a brown wooden door tucked around the side of a large building, unremarkable, probably made as a servant's entrance.

They only knew of its whereabouts due to Mark's descriptions- even though he had never been inside the palace walls, servants whispered. Jace began meandering to the left, appearing to take interest in a stall serving some sort of beverage, and Clary followed suit.

They walked along the edge of the building, turning a sharp corner with a glace over the shoulder to ensure no one had noticed, and picked up the pace.

Clary's hair was falling out of the elaborate up do she had improvised before, feeling frazzled and underdone in the presence of so many ethereal looking beings. Including Jace.

The door was unsurprisingly locked when Jace reached for it. He quickly swapped his and Clary's places and she reached under the folds of her dress for her stele. The door unlocked easily and swung open, revealing a dimly lit passage way, exactly as Mark said it would be. Every palace had them- servants' passages- and the shadowhunters indented to use them to their full advantage. The Fae preferred the help to be unseen and invisible.

Stepping inside, Jace closed the door behind them, and the sunlight disappeared leaving them in the dim light. Clary let out a deep breath- at least they were inside.

Jace gave her a sideways look, not daring to speak lest their voices echo down the path. The problem became obvious then- there would be nowhere to hide if they intercepted anyone along the way- fighting and killing would be the only option. Clary prayed that no high ranking Unseelie knight would be wandering along a servant's passage. Jace took the lead, on alert, constantly looking for danger. Clary, feeling powerless, only gripped her stele tighter.

The passage took them straight along for a few minutes, before coming to a stone stairway, one flight going up to another door, the other going down. The shadowhunters stopped, looking at each other to gauge what the other was thinking.

Clary pointed up, and Jace just shrugged.

She rose her eyebrows and went first up the stairs, hearing Jace tip toe behind her. This door wasn't locked- it opened into a brightly lit corridor, and they stepped into the light quickly before any-one could pass. Mark had warned them that certain areas weren't accessible to even the highest ranking in the palace, but most likely anywhere a servant's door let out wouldn't be too high risk.

"Looks like we are somewhere in the living space" Clary whispered, noticing an open door led into a large chamber with a draped bed. Jace nodded and straightened his clothes, assuming the act in case they were spotted. The walked briskly, trying to balance haste with acting, searching for any hint of a heavily guarded room.

They were searching for a weapon of some sort- Jia had briefed them briskly before being sent away on their mission. They didn't even know what they were looking for. Their instruction had been to find the most guarded looking area, even if it was obvious. The Seelie's wouldn't expect the Shadowhunters to be so brazen as to come into the very land they had exiled to the rest of the downworld.

Mark had suggested that the 'weapon' would not be too hidden- it needed to be easily accessible, and so the court would most likely rely on warriors and guards to keep it safe, rather than an intricate hiding space.

Clary began to feel a seed of panic creep into her stomach, as all they found was more of the same looking corridors. Jace's steps became faster, until Clary couldn't keep up without breaking into a run. She tugged the back of his jacket and pulled him into an alcove branching from the main hallway.

"This isn't the right way" she hissed, running a hand over the concealed weapons for comfort.  
"Mark said-"

"I know what Mark said, and I'm telling you that we will just be going in circles!"

"Shhh" Jace replied, peeking over his shoulder. "Ok, then what do you say we do?", his voice was whispered, a hint of uncertainty seeping in.

"Let's just find that servants door again. Maybe try another floor?" she said, and as Jace nodded, they walked out and began retracing their steps. The narrow corridors reminded her of how confined they were- there would be no easy escape if something went wrong. They got closer, Jace occasionally brushing his hand against hers to remind her he was there. In the distance, Clary could see the wooden door- just a bit more to go.

"Did you really think you could get away with this?" Clary's heart stopped. That _voice-_ coming from behind her. She barely had a chance to turn around before vines twisted around her wrists, and Jace cried out beside her.

The Seelie Queen stood in front of them, the light of her skin illuminating the hallway. She was dressed in the same style of sparkling gown that Clary always saw her in, but for the first time was missing the crown always worn on her head. She looked so large, as if the palace was too small to hold all her power in.

"Jonathan, Clarissa, how interesting to see you both here", the Seelie Queen said, smiling sweetly like she hadn't just trapped them both. Clary's heart was pounding- she felt small ad stupid for ever thinking this plan could work, magical rune powers or no. She felt Jace shift beside her, not daring to take her eyes off the Queen and look at him.  
"Your Majesty" Jace said, bowing lowly, although awkwardly with his hands bound in front of him.

Clary followed suit, deciding the approach of civility would be better than violence. The Queen just laughed, "I always did admire your manners Jonathan Herondale. Unfortunately, flattery won't get you very far this time." Jace just blinked, and Clary almost scoffed at his casual attitude- he didn't take very well to being held prisoner.

"For the meantime, let's get out of here- follow me" The Queen said, as if they had a choice. Clary glanced at Jace, trying to communicate with her eyes. Similar to in the hallway, Jace just shrugged, but Clary understood. There wasn't much they could do being so under-armed, and Clary couldn't use her stele without her hands. Resigning, they followed the trail of the Seelie Queen's gown deeper into the heart of the Unseelie court.

The Queen led them down twisting hallways of the Unseelie palace. They had barely even glimpsed how large it was before- it was more of a maze than an estate. It didn't seem to follow the normal laws of physics either. Clary could have sworn that at one point they made three left hand turns, but still ended up in a different corridor.

As they walked, the walls slowly became more like a forest than a building, with climbing vines blending into the stones that seemed to get older and more crumbled as they went on. At one point, they even had to walk through a small waterfall pouring over a stone archway, and came out dripping on the other side. It didn't seem to bother the Seelie Queen, who didn't once turn back to see if they were following her.

It must have been pretty clear how trapped they were. Clary's feet began to ache- it felt like they had been walking for miles when they finally came upon a plain looking wooden door.

It opened without the Seelie Queens touch, and they entered a small chamber, filled with… _cleaning supplies?_

Had the Seelie Queen brought them into a _broom closet?_

"What is going o-" Jace began to say, but the Queen made a sharp gesture and seemed to steal the words from his mouth.

"You're not going to be much use to me here" she drawled, ignoring Jace's half question. Clary lifted her head, looking at Jace, her eyes questioning, his calculating.

"I can't believe the audacity you two have. To think that you could be anywhere in faerie, and I would not know" she laughed deeply, looking down on the shadowhunters like they were mice in a pen. She stared at Clary for a moment, her flawless face suddenly drawn in concentration. Then a terrible smile crept across her face. The vines on their wrists seemed to wrap tighter as her mouth widened.

"I'll make you a deal" the Queen said finally, her chin lifted slightly as the peered down at them over the ridges of her pale face. Clary just stared back, not bothering to hide the loathing she felt towards the queen. Whatever she was about to say, this 'deal' was only ever going to help her, not the shadowhunters, but they had no bargaining power.

"I'll let you go. On two conditions" she began, stepping forward slowly.

Faeries loved bargains and games, and the Queen was known especially for her cruel toying.

"Firstly- you are never to return to the Unseelie court again; I will put up wards to ensure you two specifically may not return to this domain."

Clary's heart pounded- what was she playing at? Why would the Seelie queen not want them to return to the Unseelie court? She looked at Jace who was staring heavily at the queen, his face impassive. _Goddammit Jace_ , Clary thought, could he for once not be so unreadable?

The queen then smiled- "And my second request is for the son of the angel-", Jace didn't react in the slightest, and Clary nearly rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's ability to control his emotions, "I have a secret for you. You will listen, and not speak of anything I say to you until you have left the realm of the Unseelie court."

She waited a second for them to digest this information- Jace didn't look at Clary, instead his eyes narrowed in calculating thought. Clary knew it wasn't up to her to say anything, but was about to make some sort or comment, at least to break the silence when-

"We accept your terms, my lady" Jace said, his voice steady, not looking at Clary. A rather civil approach coming from Jace- Clary supposed they really were stuck- their disguises shed, they were at the mercy of an unforgiving and cruel queen.

She guessed, eventually, she would have said the same thing.

The queen smiled, and beckoned Jace forward. He finally shot Clary a look, one that said _don't worry, but be alert._ The Seelie queen's eyes seemed to sparkle, and she held out a hand, sheathed in what looked like a satin glove dipped in diamond dust- _a bit over the top_ , Clary observed.

Jace took it politely as ever, his eyes downcast, not looking directly into her eyes as would be considered rude in any formal setting in faerie.

The queens usually smug face was almost bursting with amusement- Clary knew whatever _information_ she was about to give was going to bring nothing but chaos and havoc. Hopelessness settled somewhere in Clary's heart, standing so close, yet not able to help. As Clary laid a soft hand on her belt, directly over here stele, the queen bowed her head, as Jace tipped his head to the side, and she began to whisper in his ear.

Clary's hopelessness was short lived- the sight of her boyfriend talking to one of the beings she hated most, stirred up something deep in the pit of her stomach.

A swirling mix of rage, frustration and what she could only decide was fierce protective instinct, drove her mind into a flurry of adrenaline- and Clary knew from experience now, that she could harness her emotions, and love, into something useful. An image appeared, and she closed her eyes for half a second, just enough to burn it into her memory.

The scene when she opened her eyes was slightly comic. Jace looked polite to the point of slight boredom, and the Seelie queen's face was obstructed from her view. She used the opportunity to quickly pull out her stele, tracing on the palm of her hand.

She desperately wanted Jace to show some indication of the information bring relayed to him- but her stupid boyfriends face stayed so stoic- until it wasn't.

His face changed in a split second- like a cloud passing in front of the sun, and his features turned to horror- not for so many years had Clary seen Jace look so _panicked._

She felt herself tense in anticipation, ready for whatever threat might be at hand, but the Queen just stood straight, and laughed cruelly. Jace stood for a moment, as if frozen, before rushing back to Clary's side.

She opened her mouth to speak- but Jace had already grabbed her hand (the un-runed one), facing the Seelie queen with a vicious anger.  
"We've done what you asked, now let us leave" Jace demanded, not looking at Clary. She wanted desperately to ask what was wrong- was something coming for them?

"As you wish" she replied, and with a gesture to the left, a gleaming portal opened up on the wall. Jace began dragging Clary towards the light, his hand an iron grip on her arm and she turned in concern to look at him- give him some indication of what she was about to do, but he was intent on the portal, face turned away from hers.

Taking the only second she had left before they reached the portal, Clary lifted the hand with the rune she had drawn, her palm stretched out in front, and looked up to see the Queen turned away- there was a flash of light- looking back it could have been either the portal or the rune, and everything went black.

There was a blinding flash of light, and suddenly the world was sideways.

Sideways and blurry- Clary's vision swam, with little black dots appearing in her sight. It took her a few moments to register sound- insects, birds and soft voices. Darkness fell again _(had she closed her eyes?),_ and then she was upright somehow- and something was happening in front of her eyes, too fast to process.

But there was definitely a young boy, maybe thirteen years old, and he was standing with his back to Clary, but it was too blurry to see who was talking too. Darkness once more, and then Clary felt the nauseating feeling of being pulled down by gravity, but instead of down she was being pulled _everywhere,_ but she could still glimpse the boy- was he turning around?

She fought against the tug, planting her feet into the ground just long enough for him to turn, and standing before her, clear as day, was a young boy from her dreams.

Emerald green eyes (gravity pulled her everywhere at once), fair white hair drifting across his shoulders (the darkness was pulling her away), and delicate features with a thin, curving mouth (when would this end?).

The image of his face was burnt into her skin, in her eyes, under her eyelids, down her throat.

 _Jonathan._


	3. Chapter 3

Hi Everyone!

Thank you for the lovely reviews- they really keep me working on my stories more than anything else.

Anyways, here's the next chapter- hope you enjoy

 **Chapter 3**

A gasp tore from Clary's throat when she woke up. The most disorientating thing was that she was apparently still very upright. Jace was gripping her hand like iron, and they seemed to be somewhere in the institute garden.

The uprightness didn't last very long- Clary's legs gave out and she plummeted to the ground. Jace seemed to be breathing heavily too, until he noticed her absence on the upright plane, and dropped to his knees next to her.

"Clary? Are you hurt?", his voice was raspy.  
"I…" it took her a few seconds to slow her breathing and form words, "Did I black out?"

"No? We just came through the portal" Jace said, standing and offering her a hand.

"Oh my god"- her heart which three seconds ago was pumping with adrenaline, seemed to only go faster. She remembered the rune, and peering down at her hand, Clary could see the faint white outline of where it had been used up.

Panic- absolute panic bubbled up in her stomach. Jace's gaze followed her vision, and he took her other hand he helped her off the ground.  
"What did you do?" he questioned roughly, grabbing the runed hand and inspecting it. Clary just shook her head.

"Just take me inside."

"What did you do Clary?" he asked louder, but still she just shook her head. Her hand started to shake, and her body felt wobbly like jelly. Jace scanned their surroundings for a second, as they headed for the nearest entrance.

Clary felt like she couldn't breathe. It was like her subconscious knew what she had seen- knew what she was about to face- but the front of her mind just couldn't handle it yet. She remembered the blurring of her vision, began to see colours and hear sounds she knew weren't coming from the present.

Suddenly they were in the elevator, and she was staring at her reflection- a sound in her ear brought her back. "Did you say something?" she said to Jace, her voice quiet.

"I asked if you are alright?" he replayed, looking at her in the reflection- they were both covered in mud from landing outside, but it was Clary's own face that startled her more.

She looked like a ghost.

"Ah…" she began, but trailed off when she noticed Jace's face darken into something different. Concern beyond anything he had shown before the queen had whispered in his ear…

The elevator dinged. She didn't get out. Jace was standing in the doors- looking back at her.

"It was him Jace", Clary's voice was hushed. "Jonathan... he had a son"

Jace went still.

"Jonathon Morgenstern had a son? How do you know?" he asked- demanded.

"He had a son" she replied, "and he has green eyes, and blonde hair, and I've seen him before in my dreams. Green eyes…". She shut her eyes and felt Jace step back into the lift and wrap an arm around her shoulders, bringing her into the hallway and leaning against a wall.

"You've seen him before? Did you see him in the Seelie court?" Jace questioned urgently and Clary opened her eyes. Jace had her face in his hands, making a little cocoon.

"I used a rune- one for revealing deepest secrets just as we were getting in the portal. It showed me him, somewhere in faerie. He's the weapon Jace. _My nephew."_

Jace led Clary into their bedroom- she was leaning heavily on him, although he had checked thoroughly for any injury on her body, she seemed to just be in shock. He had an arm around her, guiding her through doorway of their room, and sat her gently onto the bed. Jace felt as if he were in shock too- too much had happened in such a small amount of time and the mission- oh god the _mission_ \- had gone terribly askew.

Clary sunk her head into her hands and shook lightly. Jace didn't even realise that her face was wet until her heard her voice say shakily "Oh god Jace".

Words stuck like honey in his throat. Never in his life had Jace felt like he didn't have anything to say to her- nothing that could make this better. And Clary sat, breaking down in front of him and the only thing he could think of was the crazed voice of the Seelie Queen whispering in his ear as she told him- something that would only overwhelm Clary much more.

He hadn't even processed the information yet- only his subconscious had latched on, and that was only making him obsess over Clary's upset state more.

"I just can't Jace" Clary sobbed, and so he knelt on the ground, taking her hand, and putting one hand on her back.

"I'll be right back" he whispered, and slipped into the bathroom, turning the shower on. He returned a moment later, and led a silent Clary into the bathroom. She was entirely complacent, ghostly almost in the florescent light, as he lightly undressed her, and them himself, and stepped under the flow of heavenly warm water.

They were both unspeaking, too much absorbed in their own thoughts about what had just happened, what they had just found out. A heavy weight pressed on Jace, a responsibility so much larger than being head of institute- he only understood what it felt like because he had been through it before. It was the same feeling that had been a constant companion through the dark war- dread and hopelessness.

He just focused on the mundane task of cleaning, and watched Clary until after a couple of minutes her tears slowly melted away.

Once they were both clean, dry and dressed, Clary had gained a little bit more colour to her face. Jace began fussing over their dirty clothes, and tried not to cringe at the mud tracks that had padded into the carpet.

He barely even noticed himself hastily trying to tidy their room- a habit from his youth, of trying to create order in the midst of disorder.

There was something weighing on him, heavily, the words of the Seelie queen so tangible, he was so terrified to speak to Clary, afraid they would just burst form his chest.

If she noticed him pointedly not looking at her, she didn't say anything.

But she did say, "We have to call a meeting", her voice even.

Jace turned, startled by her sudden change in demeanour, and saw Clary standing over the edge of the bed, her finger running over her palm.

"I can show them the rune I used" she said, reaching out her palm to Jace, who took it gently and saw the white faded mark of a twisting pattern that was as foreign to him as another language.

"Are you ready?" he asked, "If you need some time-"

"I'm fine" Clary said steeply, and pushed past Jace to reach for her weapons belt. "I don't need time, we need to act right away. We now know what the weapon is Jace. At least the mission is complete" Jace just stepped back, a little bewildered.

"Clary slow down-" Jace began but she twirled on her heel and looked at him so wildly he stopped,

" _Slow down?_ You want me to slow down after what I've just seen? I have been haunted by those eyes for years Jace. Haunted by Jonathon, and been through _absolute hell_ to stop him. I can't go through that again" she was nearly shouting by the end. "I _will no_ t go through that again. We are going to deal with this swiftly, and smoothly, and without distraction or mercy-" Jace cut in before she could continue.

"Clary just stop from one minute and _think._ You're upset and in shock, and there are other things in motion that you don't understand yet! We need to gain information and make a good plan- not rush into this headfirst!"  
"I'm not rushing into anything!" Clary yelled, fastening her weapons belt with ferocity. "You always do this! I don't need to be protected anymore"- Jace opened his mouth to speak but Clary kept going "What don't I understand Jace? Did the Seelie Queen reveal to you the secrets of the world? Did she tell you about that fucking green eyed child-" she continued in one breath, red hair unbound and swaying with her rage.

"No but she did tell me something else. Something that changes things" and Jace's voice dropped an octave, his instincts taking over, handling this precious information that his mind hadn't even processed yet- couldn't even _think_ about yet.

"Then tell me what it is!" Clary yelled, frustration and fatigue clouding her words.

"She told me-" Jace cut off running a hand through his hair.

He was torn- was it even a good idea to tell Clary now, in the state she was in? Should he even do it?

"Get on with it Jace. What did she say?" she urged, a cynical hint to her voice. Jace couldn't stop the flash of hurt he felt from showing- it was been a long time since she had spoken to him with a tone close to that. Almost since that awful time in Alicante. Yet even as Clary stood in front of him in a rage of fury, he knew it wasn't directed at him. How could he add to her suffering even more? But his hesitation only made her face drop with resignation, a cold, dry anger spreading through her face.

"Fine. If that's what you want to do, go back to keeping secrets, shutting me out. I thought we were a team Jace, but apparently you want me to do this on my own-"

"That's the last thing I want!" he shouted, "Just let me think this through Clary- it's not- I don't even know that to do with this information, let alone how to tell you-"

"Whatever. Leave it to me, I've already texted Isabelle, so you can just stay here and wait while I make a plan to break into Seelie"

"You aren't going anywhere!" Jace roared, and this time, it was Clary who stopped. She looked shocked, there must have been something in his voice, he felt the panic spread through him again and it was all coming out-

"The Seelie Queen told me you're pregnant."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Isabelle sighed as she raised her legs onto a plush loveseat. It was in the small living room in her and Simon's apartment. It wasn't large- actually it was tiny when compared with the gaping halls and empty rooms of the institute where she grew up. Isabelle placed the magazine she was holding down, unable to concentrate with the chorus of some unholy rock band blaring through her fiancée's speakers.

She had been flicking through bridal magazines for over an hour, lounging on a sofa whilst Simon bustled around the flat doing various household chores.

Isabelle smiled slightly- the irony was not lost on her. Her mother would be proud, she thought, to see what savvy and helpful man she was going to marry. There was once a time in shadowhunter history where it would have been laughable to think of a woman sitting with her feet up while her husband-to-be cleaned their house.

The past few months had been a domestic bliss for Isabelle.

It was strange, she thought, to be where she was now- planning her wedding, building a home with Simon, and enjoying the ebb and flow of a life unburdened by impending doom. Even with the rising tension put on the Clave through the Cold Peace, somehow, she and Simon had settled into a pocket of calm- of course with demon hunting and shadowhunter business still in the mix, but that was normal for her, and now it was for Simon too.

Because he was one of them now.

They were alike- it made emotion swell in her stomach even just thinking of how happy Simon was in his new life.

She was proud of him every day, for surviving what he did, from being so lost to where he was now. But most of all for finding his way back to her.

She guessed that was why she accepted his proposal. Because she knew what it was like to not have him there- and she knew that no matter what she would never go through that again.

It made saying yes so easy. And so here they were.

Wedding bells rung from the table under her magazine, and Isabelle flicked the magazine away to see who was texting. Jace- who thought it was the most hilarious thing that Simon and Isabelle would be the first to tie the knot- had changed every sound her phone made to the obnoxious sound of wedding bells.

She kept forgetting to change it- especially after Simon found it equally as hilarious as her brother, and she feared public outrage if it got changed back.

Clary's name popped up and her heart began to race. _They were back form faerie already?_

The text was short, and to the point. _We are back. Come to the institute now._

"Simon!" Isabelle yelled over the vacuum. "We have to get to the institute."

Clary couldn't move. Should could still feel her limbs- was aware of the weight of her feet on the ground, and the way her fingertips brushed her sides. But it was like gravity had tripled its strength, like the rotation of the earth had stopped or some alien thing had taken control of her body.

She.

Couldn't.

Breath.

 _What had he just said?_ Breath in… _pregnant?_ Breathe out… _was it possible?_ Breathe in… _but how?_ Breathe out…

Jace began talking again, his voice hushed like he was keeping some great secret- "She was laughing when she said it, like it was some joke, but faeries can't lie Clary, and she said it so plainly. She said "Clary is pregnant", so it must be true, it's not a lie-"

"It can't be true Jace" Clary interjected, surprising herself by finding her voice. "I mean, the rune-"

"Faerie's can't lie Clary!" Jace said roughly, running a hand through his hair. "I don't how it happened, but it _must_ be true."

"It's not possible" Clary said, voice flat. She shook her head, and walked over to the bed, sitting on it slowly. "Why would she tell you that?"

"I don't know" Jace admitted, not moving. "She feeds off chaos- maybe she was just trying to get me to panic. It certainly worked" he said, slightly muffled in Clary's ears.

"Panicked?" she repeated, feeling her heart speed up, "You think you're panicking? Oh god what if it's true? I just can't think-"

"Should I… call a silent brother?" Jace interrupted, his voice hesitant. Clary turned her face up to look at him. She had a feeling the look on her face was slightly horrified. "I… I don't know" she stuttered, clenching her hands into fists.

"Then what do you want me to do?" he said slowly

"I don't know" she sputtered, and it took him only seconds to kneel on the ground below her. He took her cheeks in his palms- the way he looked at her- like she was a goddess, so much adoration and worry mixed together in his expression, it broke her heart to see him looking up at her like that.

When she tried to speak, nothing came out.

"You don't have to know anything yet Clary" he said quietly. "I'll be here for whatever you need. The one thing you can count on is that I'll never leave your side."

There was a time for planning, a time for laying out all your problems in a line, and finding the best course of actions.

This was not that time.

Jace was pacing, as usual, when Isabelle and Simon arrived. He was in the library, where Clary had told them to go via text. There was a mood in the air, something stirring in the atmosphere that the shadowhunters hadn't encountered in a long time.

"When did you get back? What's happened?" Isabelle rushed, scrambling to find out what was going on. Clary was nowhere to be seen.

"Is Clary alright? She just texted me before-"

"She's fine" Jace cut in, voice sharp, and he looked up at Isabelle with a steely face.

"We got back a couple hours ago" he began, and Isabelle saw the tense rise of his shoulders and mask of thought as a sign of bad news.

"Did you learn what the weapon is?" Isabelle asked, straight to the point. It was not the time for dragging this out. The cold peace was balanced on the tip of a sharp blade- at this point anything to sway it one way or the other would only end in bloodshed.

Jace looked up at Isabelle and Simon, who had caught up to stand at her side.

"Do you remember, during the dark war, Clary found a letter in the apartment from Sebastian addressed to 'My Beautiful One'?" Jace paused, not needing Simon or Isabelle to nod before continuing, "When we were in the Unseelie court, the Seelie Queen was inches from kicking us out. This whole time we had been assuming that the Unseelie court held the weapon- that they knew what it was and were holding it for themselves- but actually they haven't got it- when Sebastian died, he left something behind, something the Seelie Queen has and is hiding somewhere in the Unseelie court. It's his son. Clary used a rune to catch a glimpse of a young blond haired green-eyed boy"

"No fucking way" Isabelle said.

Simon balked- "How do you know its Sebastian's kid though?" he questioned.

"Clary was convinced. She was basically in shock when we got back- she said he had Jonathon's eyes- _her_ eyes, and she said that's how she knew"

"And the Seelie Queen is his mother?" Isabelle questioned. Jace shook his head slightly, "We aren't sure but it seems most likely."

"Where is Clary though?" Simon butt in, and frowned when Jace tensed up like Simon had jabbed him with a hot poker.

"She had to run an errand- she'll be back soon. And don't worry parabati, you'd know if something was wrong"

Simon looked Isabelle and shrugged, letting her know as far as he could tell, nothing was wrong.

"So what do we do now?" Isabelle asked, trying to map out Jace's course of action- he liked to make plans without letting people know. "Have you told the Clave?".

Jace shook his head. "I decided to get everyone here updated. Magnus and Alec are in London at the moment though. I couldn't reach them so I texted Alec to call me when he could."

He looked at Isabelle, questioning with his eyes. "I don't really have a plan" he confessed, sitting down on the plush reading chair. "I mean, there are just too many things that we don't know."

Simon nodded, and Isabelle looked at him with a withering glance. Simon looked mildly pleased that Jace admitted to not knowing something, no matter how dire the situation.

"So why don't we piece together what we do know." Isabelle interjected.

Jace tipped his head to the side in resigned agreement, his expression heavy.

He filled them in on what happened in the Unseelie court, and how they had returned so quickly, his descriptions economical and plain. When he was finished, Isabelle furrowed her brow- "I mean it makes sense that the Seelie Queen wouldn't want you two poking around the Unseelie court if that was where she was hiding her child" she said finally, and Jace nodded.

"But the kid is still young. Is she waiting for him to grow up? And we have no idea what he might be capable of- a twisted hybrid of demon, shadowhunter and Seelie. This is uncharted territory", Isabelle said gravely, and followed Jace's lead by sitting down in another plush chair. Simon moved to stand behind it, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"But what can one person- no matter the weird mixing of bloods- really do? Surely he can't be so powerful as to be a singular threat to the Nephilim as a whole" Simon said, really speaking up for the first time since getting there. Isabelle smiled a bit- it was nice to see him really joining in on conversation instead of passing it off to the more _experienced_ shadowhunters(as Jace liked to constantly remind him, especially when Clary wasn't around). After losing his memories, Simon didn't consider himself as a part of the team who went to Edom and returned. He didn't see himself as someone who had something to offer- but things had changed. He was a force to be reckoned with now, and the thought made her want to quietly smile.

"He can take down the wards in Idris" Jace said quietly, and Isabelle looked at him sharply. She hadn't thought of that.  
"You're right. He's a perfect spy- Just like Jonathon"

"-But he's still young" Simon pointed out, "That means we have time. Maybe the Queen was going to raise him in seclusion, keep him a secret, and then unleash him when he was ready as revenge for the cold peace". No one could do anything but nod.

They spent the rest of daylight basically brainstorming, but without anything useful to say. Everyone agreed on one thing though- for now there was nothing they could do. Another mission to Unseelie was next to impossible, and they also had to figure out what to do about informing the Clave. Jace sighed, and said he'd call Jia in the morning. Telling the Consul directly was probably the best method of action.

"I'd better go check on Clary" Jace said, almost absentmindedly. "You two should stay here tonight, so find a spare room", Simons face twisted, like he was about make some remark about Jace's suggestion-but Isabelle pinched his side before he could speak. She didn't know exactly what it was, but something about Jace's expression told her not to push- besides, if Clary really wasn't okay, there was no way Jace wouldn't be right by her side.

When Jace returned to his room, he almost tiptoed in. The only light was coming from the bathroom, where the door was slightly cracked. Clary was inside, sitting on the closed seat of the toilet, and she was staring at something small in her hands.

Something in Jace's body stuttered.

He knew what it was, the little white stick. And somehow, even though for hours his mind had been agonizing over the Seelie Queen's words, it was still like an electric shock to the heart when Clary shifted it slightly so he could see the little red plus.

"I don't get it" Clary said, her voice clear. "When have my runes not worked before?".

Jace shook his head. "Maybe it had something to do with being in Faerie?" he replied, though it was more to just have something to say.

"By the angel Clary…" Jace began, and he held out a hand for her to take. She threw the pregnancy test into the garbage and took it, standing stiffly like she had been sitting there for a long time. "A baby" he whispered, cradling the word.

She swallowed- "Not the best timing" was all she said. Jace felt the corner of his mouth be tugged up by some mystical force. He couldn't help it- a cocktail of emotions swirled through him, making his stomach rush with butterflies, and a small smile spread across his face. Clary studied him, her eyes roaming over his features, her green gaze melting his thoughts, as emotion took over his body.

"A baby" he whispered again, not believing his own ears.

"I know" she said, whispering as well. "What on earth are we going to do."

Jace just shook his head, "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. We're going to have a baby" he said, voice growing, and unable to help himself, he lifted Clary in a tight embrace.

He expected laughing, maybe even tears from her. But when he pulled back he was met with a straight face.

Clary didn't mirror is emotion- she looked at him evenly.

"Things still matter Jace" she said, tugging him out of the bathroom, and walking into their bedroom.

The evening light was golden where it filtered in through the window. Jace followed Clary silently, as she paced into their room and began picking up discarded clothing from the floor and tossing it in a laundry basket.

"Ok fine, things still matter- but… this is big" he began, trying to make sense of Clary's mood, to get some explanation of what was going through her head.

"We can't just ignore everything that's going on just because- because of this!" Clary's voice was rising.

"Of course we can!" Jace matched Clary's tone, talking basically to her back. "Not everything has to be our responsibility Clary". Clary scowled, and stopped bustling around the bedroom to face him straight on.

And in one breath she managed to say- "What are you talking about Jace?! We are the heads of this institute! We have more responsibility than anyone else. Things still matter."

"How are you even thinking about anything else right now Clary?" Jace shouted back, shaking his head at her. Clary's face turned red.

"I'm thinking about everything Jace. I'm thinking about the threats we have to face before we even consider anything else. This is happening right now Jace, and I can't even comprehend anything that's going to happen in the future- I haven't given myself a chance."

"I think I get the message Clary" Jace said evenly, staring back at her. "I can see exactly where your priorities are. It's pretty clear that your convoluted revenge story comes above everything else."

"That's not what I mean Jace!" Clary protested, her voice raw. "It's just-" she made a frustrated sound, "I can't deal with both things right now. It's like I don't have space in myself to really grasp that I'm- pregnant".

"I get it Clary" Jace said furiously, "I'm overwhelmed too- but that doesn't mean you get to just ignore this". Something inside him was turning sour- the smile he couldn't keep off his face before was long gone.

You know how you imagine the future, and even the most lost of people have at least an idea of what it might hold. A picture in their mind, a vision or pathway, either good or bad or neither.

Until Clary, Jace's vision had been a tunnel. Straightforward, no uncertainty- he was a shadowhunter, and would always be one, and only that.

And when she had barrelled into his life, that became a maze, one fraught with twists and turns, only the darkest paths leading to a future without her in it.

And now, he was back to a tunnel- and right now, shadowhunting was so far on the sidelines, it was barely there.

Now, all Jace could picture, was one scene. Clary, smiling brightly, enveloped in warm light, holding a small bundle, and rocking it gently.

And nothing else mattered. Not for him.

"I just need some time to process this Jace" Clary said quietly. "Some time to figure out what this means for us".

Jace nodded- this he could understand. And as much as he was frustrated with Clary right now, he could see how hard this was for her.

"Let's just get some rest" he said finally, walking over to where she stood and placing one hand on her cheek. "It's been a long day". Clary smiled a little ruefully.

"Fair enough" she gave in, and turned away to get her pyjamas form the top drawer.

Once Jace had his own on, they went through their evening ritual of teeth brushing and preparing for bed.

The normality of this practiced action seemed to seep straight into Jace's bones, settling deep within.


End file.
